A Great Presidential Speech

Discussion in 'Politics and Religion Discussion' started by Inferal, Aug 29, 2008.

  1. Inferal

    Inferal Full Access Member

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    WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?












    '
    My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

    Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

    This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

    Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

    The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

    Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year
    alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
    THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

    The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

    Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France ..

    In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down
    and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.


    Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China


    I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia .. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon
    ne
    chance, mezamies.

    I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty
    pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York


    A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.


    Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra
    thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put'em? Yep, border security.


    Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.


    We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.


    It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn tootin'.


    Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America . It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.


    To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak
    Arabic.

    God bless America . Thank you and good night.
    '

    If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
     
  2. srt8_hmi

    srt8_hmi My dream is over.

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    Very well put. I think my eyes are bleeding afeter reding these big ass words.
     
  3. srt-4chick

    srt-4chick Silver Supporting Members

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    that would be nice
     
  4. HEMISFEAR

    HEMISFEAR Ur Friendly Canadian

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    Canada has been supportive to the US during every single war after it's own independence....except for Vietnam and Iraq. In the last two, we have assisted as peacekeeping forces. We're still in Afghanistan and ours are dying nearly everyday there. News stories abound...so don't forget that. ...especially both World Wars...with combined Canadian losses in the tens of thousands. Nevertheless, I do like that speech very much, and agree with 'almost' everything. lol..
     
  5. 1fastsedan

    1fastsedan Destroyer of Warranties

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    Amen. Its time to look after our own.
     
  6. StevoSRT

    StevoSRT Moderator

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    amen....fuck em if they cant take a joke....throw that money into our millitary so that when we are attacked cause of hippy liberal assholes we can have the ability to seek and destroy every living human being who agreed with the attack...

    oh and no more of this not letting our troops do anything until they are already being killed....boys....GIT R DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!....i dont care how you accomplished your missions...just do it baby

    and if i was pres

    im unleashing mark on the world...hows that for a big up yours

    ***yeah im not in a good mood right now if you didnt catch that***
     
  7. LegMaker

    LegMaker LMI - LegMakerIntakes

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    nice speech....... except for the canada part, but milan touched on that.....

    ummmmm steve........ go home and have a drink....or two....or three........ lol
     
  8. TheSickness

    TheSickness 1/2 Man 1/2 Amazing !

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    Your Navy was key in closing off the Iraqi coastline. I never knew that the full power of the Canadian Navy encompassed 4 row boats and a pool floaty :usflag:
     
  9. Bud

    Bud GG EVO IX MR

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    I did a few operations in Afghanistan with the "JTF-2"...Canada'a Delta Force/SEAL Team SIX. They were some cool Molson drinking dudes no doubt!
     
  10. HEMISFEAR

    HEMISFEAR Ur Friendly Canadian

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    LOL!! Nobody can say we don't try! hehehehehe.

    :grin: