People ask the stupidest things!! Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Duece my wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her no, I didn't have a dog, and I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my favorite and most used orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your underwear with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled wit h my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! Walmart won't let me shop there anymore!!! :flipout:
dude that $hit was hilarious! im picturing a fat white lady in a mumu looking around afterwards and picking up a bag and a can for herself.
Yeah folks, real fukin' funny... Momo this, Momo that... pricks. Funny how I can bash myself constantly, and you basterds still find more fuel to throw on the fire! ... and I was TRYING to turn a new leaf! BTW: Ever tried dried dog food? Kind of tastes like sht., althouth, Milkbones ain't too shabby... bland, but not offensive!
That's hilarious.... I kid with people all the time by telling them that the white markers in the middle of the freeway are braille for blind people, so they know where the lanes are. On a date a girl once asked me....So how do they know where the exit is? By the way.....she wasn't blonde either.
I have a "you might be a red neck if..." 365 day calander...and more times than not you can think of a time that you have done/thought/or just been guilty of them haha
hahaha.....at least thats a better reason for getting banned from walmart than using tire shine to make your shopping expirience quicker....
